Tuesday, April 28, 2009

All things Tacky at IBS, including my entry.

Its Tuesday and I have the day off. The International Beauty Show is at the Javits Center and I need to do a little professional shopping, so I decided to take a walk.

I was determined not to pay to get into the show. So me being the cheapskate that I am, I went scrabbling through all of my saved credentials from all the shows and events that I've attended in the past. I knew I held on to this cluster of knotted cords and tangled plastic badges for something. And what do I find? A IBS badge from about 3 or 4 yrs ago. BINGO,SCORE,Awesome. I'll give it a try.

I arrive at the Javits center and take notice of other attendees badges that look nothing like the one that I have so confidently pinned on my belt loop. I figured I would cover my fraudulent credential with my shirt ,find the oldest person at the entry check point and try the look busy and give a quick flash as I walked in .

I start my investigation and found my lady. She is a older black woman with short silver hair.Its styled to the nines like she was a model for one of the vendors. This was my girl. I make a b line to her and I pretend that I'm on my phone. I give her a big smile and slightly lift my shirt exposing only the bottom half of my plastic badge. I enter with all the confidence in the world. My first foot passes the velvet rope and I hear "Oh - wait - a - minute, Whats that?" I reply with "What my Badge?" She says " Let me see that. I ain't never seen a badge like that before". I'm thinking if you worked here 3 or 4 yrs ago you would have. She read the badge a couple of times with a puzzled look on her face ,but gives in when she reads the word "educator". She said "Oh your a educator, well I guess your OK"... Whew! I'm in.

I make my way through the isles looking for the items on my check list. Each isle was crowed with people looking to spend their money on colored hair extensions, glitter and cheap jewelry. I fight my way through the masses and notice the excitement in faces of the students who are so impressed with all things Tacky. I have a flash back of being just impressed with the over the top hair creations and endless rows of cheap useless products when I was first introduced to IBS many yrs ago. I had a constant feeling of de ja vue as each isle seem to look just like the last. Booths of scissors, extensions, capes, brazilain hair straitners and blowdryes seem to repeat themselves every 50 feet.

I get a call from my friend Rita who I went to hair school with and now is a teacher at the school we attended.She said "I'm here in NYC at the show, are you here?" I said "yes". I proceed to meet her in the food court. We walk around for a bit and I mention to her that I need a haircut. She said "Oh lets go to my friend, she is cutting hair at some clipper booth." She walks me over to this booth and the "Friend" sits me on stage and tells her audience whats she is about to do with my hair . I gave her free reign . My only request was that I want a cool and fashionable haircut. The buzzer glides over my head a few times and she is spinning me on her cutting stool enough to make me just dizzy enough not to care what she is doing. She makes the announcement that's she is finished and I hear a couple hesitant claps from the onlookers as she brushes off my neck. I never saw what she was doing but I'm just happy to have my haircut. It has to look good right? She was on stage teaching people how to use clippers. After the motion sickness from the spinning chair settles I search for a mirror, unfortunately for me I found one. It looks like what my boyfriend Rich describes as a "Major Dad Haircut" Its kinda like a bad military haircut and a flattop but somehow being neither. She cut my sideburns into these two things that resemble spikes on the side of my head, and I honestly haven't even try to see the back of my head yet. I'm thinking this was Karma for scamming my entry into this show.

I was able to get all the things on my shopping list. During my shopping I came across a few things that made me smile and thought I would share them with you. a sun visor with fake Don King hair attached.who needs highlights when you can use tinsle?


  1. With that haircut it sounds like your ready for the Star Trek movie

  2. Haha love your story! But you're missing a pic of your horrible haircut, come on we want to see!

  3. Oh Johnny, I would've joined you if I knew you were going. I could've scored you a 'legit' ticket too =) My friend Laura is the photographer hired by IBS to shoot the event. She posted some pics on FB.
    That was nice of you to give the stylist the freedom to do her thing but her interpretation of cool obviously was not the same as yours! At least hair grows right? ox

  4. I agree with MissChievous, you must now show us the haircut :P